not gonna name names but ive got some top quality friends……rare holographic edition pals……wouldnt u like to know
mscurveball
herdirtylittleheart
Vice posted that shitty Polyamory article written by Zoe Cormier on their Snapchat story yesterday and it reminded me why I can’t stand when monogamous folks write about alternative relationships.
She literally claims that polyamorous people just haven’t been in “real” love yet. And the worst part is she uses David Bowie as an example of how right she is. First of all HOW DARE!!!!
To me “obviously you’ve never really been in love” is the most insulting argument against polyamory. I could make the same argument against monogamy, that if you want to control and restrict your partner, or have ownership over their choices you probably don’t really love them, but I wouldn’t make that argument in a published article because it’s kind of a dick move!
The love you have to feel for your partner to support them to go after what makes them happy (even if it isn’t you, even if it’s complicated, even if it’s not socially acceptable and you’ll have to read snarky articles about your relationship being second class as a result) is huge. True love is deeper than our closed-minded culture, with it’s penchant for love triangles and divorce drama, would have us believe.
For the record, just because people might choose to have only one partner at some point in their lives doesn’t mean they no longer believe polyamory to be valid. If I’m queer but only fucking women that doesn’t mean my identity changes, I’m still queer. Likewise a person who identifies as poly could be single, partnered with one person, asexual, taking a break from multiple relationships, or dating a monogamous person. It’s normal and healthy for folks to desire different things at different stages of life, that’s one of the huge benefits of ethically non-monogamous relationships; they’re flexible by nature and adjust to the needs of those involved.
My husband and I have had monogamous stretches that last several years for a variety of reasons (health, timing, circumstances) but that didn’t change how we felt about our relationship being open at it’s core, or our desire to be honest about our identities. We respect our relationship and each other enough to adjust to what we need at any given time.
And if that ain’t true love I don’t know what is.